


Find Myself At Your Door...

by doujinbag



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Getting Back Together, M/M, Post-Break Up, Thunderstorms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-12
Updated: 2015-04-12
Packaged: 2018-03-22 11:10:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3726553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doujinbag/pseuds/doujinbag
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>...just like all those times before. I'm not sure how I got there; all roads, they lead me here.</i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Eren finds himself on a strange side of town just before a thunderstorm. He knocks on a stranger's door, only to find he's not so much of a stranger after all...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Find Myself At Your Door...

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Français available: [Find Myself At Your Door...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5722951) by [Selyka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selyka/pseuds/Selyka)



> ?????nice

Eren paced himself slowly down the street, trying to keep himself calm. His hands were hidden in the pockets of his jeans, his lower lip caught between his teeth, as he looked around anxiously. He was absolutely lost in the back roads of god-knows-where, and better yet, at the beginning of a rather vicious thunderstorm. The racing winds blew his messy hair all around, drops of rain were starting to hit his face, and he couldn’t shake the feeling of being followed no matter how hard he tried. In all honesty, he was terrified.

“Stay calm, Eren, stay calm, stay calm…” he whispered to himself under his breath. “You’ll find your way, you’ll be fine–”

His train of thought was interrupted by a sudden crack of lightning in the sky, causing him to jump up in the air a bit. Quickly, he whipped his phone out of his back pocket and held it between his two shaking hands. He couldn’t call Armin; he was busy at his new internship. Jean and Marco were on another date today, and if Mikasa came to pick him up, she’d never shut up about how Eren should be more careful.

He wasn’t sure, exactly, what possessed him to march up to a random doorstep and knock with a fist like iron, but once he did, he couldn’t undo it. From behind the large oak door, he could hear a man’s muffled voice shout, “I already said, I’m not interested in any damn Girl Scout cookies–”

As the door swung open, his voice trailed off, and Eren’s eyes fell upon someone that made him take a step or two backwards. The man had a towel around his waist, a toothbrush in his hand, and a scowl on his face, but more importantly, Eren _knew_ this man, and it was someone he really wished he wasn’t seeing right now.

This man, to be exact, was Eren’s ex.

“What the fuck are _you_ doing here?” Levi practically spat, albeit not literally, saving Eren the horror of potentially getting a mix of toothpaste and spit in his eye.

“I’m… sorry, I didn’t realize that you lived here,” Eren said nervously, shoving his phone back into his pocket.

“Well, obviously, you had to have come here for _some_ reason. Why the hell do you think you can just appear at my house and–”

“I'm sorry,” Eren interrupted. “It was… a coincidence or something. I just wanted to get out of the storm and I knocked on a random door and I didn’t know that you lived _here.”_

“Yeah, well, typically, when the mailbox says Ackerman and the same goddamn car I’ve had for the past six years is sitting in the driveway, normal people would make a fucking connection somewhere.”

“I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Of course you weren’t.” Levi sighed and pressed his forehead against the doorway, clenching his fist around his toothbrush.

“I’m sorry. I just– I’m lost. I was stress-walking and I wound up here and I don’t know where the fuck I am and it’s about to storm really bad.”

“Get your sister to pick your sorry ass up.”

“You know how she is.”

“That’s not my goddamn problem.”

“Please, just– at least for a few minutes–”

“I have to spit toothpaste out of my mouth now,” Levi said bluntly. With that, he shut the door in Eren’s face and walked promptly into his bathroom to do just that. Eren was just about to turn away and knock on someone else’s door before Levi suddenly reappeared, with real pants on instead of just a towel and his toothbrush gone. “If this is some of your bullshit that you’re planning to pull just to make me feel bad for you and take you back, I will make sure to shove my foot so far up your ass that you’ll be coughing up toenails for a month.”

Eren grimaced at the imagery but shook his head anyways. “I’m serious, it’s cold and rainy and you know how… how storms are. I’m not trying to pull shit. I’m sorry. I won’t even bother you, I’ll even sit in front of your door the whole time until the storm passes. I just… I don’t know what else to do.”

Levi hesitated for a while, a _long_ while, before finally groaning and moving aside. “Fine. But the minute the last cloud disappears from the fucking sky, you better be the hell out of here.”

Eren scrambled inside just as a new wave of thunder rolled overhead and he literally sat down on the floor, crossing his legs underneath of him.

“Seriously? That’s disgusting. Take your shoes off, don’t track mud in here,” Levi scolded. Eren obliged, pulling his mud-clad shoes off by the toes, and only then did he realize that he managed to throw on two completely different shoes on before leaving his apartment. A dark green Converse slid off his left foot, a black combat boot wriggling off the right. “What’s with the shitty fashion choice?” Levi questioned.

“I don’t know,” Eren sighed, pressing his fingertips to his forehead. “I was in a rush. Well, I don’t know if I was really rushing, per se, just… yeah.”

“I can’t believe you still fucking stress-walk. I thought you got over that two years ago.”

“It started up again.”

“When?”

“A few months ago.”

Levi didn’t bother asking why. He already knew the answer to that. Only a few months prior, he had damned Eren to hell, calling him every god-awful name he could think of before sending him out to fend for himself, alone and afraid with nobody but Armin and Mikasa to really keep him sane. It was the worst breakup either of them had ever experienced.

Levi didn’t bother inviting Eren further into the house; Eren said he would willingly sit in front of the door the whole time, and Levi wasn’t about to take those words for granted. He really didn’t feel like _cozying up_ with his ex-boyfriend at the moment anyways. He wasn’t in that kind of mood today. He simply sat down on his sofa without paying Eren another glance and turned the TV on to the news, which was currently reporting the weather.

_“…conditions are expected to worsen through the night, possibly resulting in a tornado watch in Maria, Rose, and Sina counties. Forty mile-per-hour winds to be expected in mostly northeastern Maria county, so folks there, stay safe, stay inside and preferably away from most windows if possible. Thunder and lightning is expected to worsen as well, with torrential downpours lasting until quite possibly midnight or so. Folks in Shiganshina, you might very well see some quarter-sized hail as well…”_

“Great,” Eren muttered under his breath. “Fucking wonderful.”

Levi cast his eyes over to the boy on the floor and couldn’t help but let out a sigh. He knew exactly how Eren felt about thunderstorms, especially when they were this bad. He knew that he had lost his mother during one of the worst thunderstorms Shiganshina had ever seen when he was only ten, and he _knew_ Eren couldn’t stand to be alone during storms like this.

He almost felt guilty.

“I guess you’ll be here a while,” Levi grumbled. “Do you want like… tea or something?”

“I still hate tea.”

“That’s still a damn disappointment.” Levi walked to the kitchen and began making himself a cup of tea anyways, before asking, “Coffee, then?”

“I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

“…Do you have creamer?”

“Too much of it.”

“Then yes…? Yeah. Yes. Thanks.”

Levi replied with a mere sigh and got to working on both their drinks now, shaking his head at himself. He couldn’t believe he let Eren in his new house, let alone the fact that he was offering him fucking _commodities._

When Levi came back, Eren had moved two inches closer to the couch and away from the door, but he didn’t bother saying anything about it. He handed Eren his coffee and settled back into his spot on the couch, watching closely as Eren took a sip.

“This has a _lot_ of creamer in it,” Eren pointed out quietly.

“What, do you not like it that way anymore?”

“No, I do,” Eren objected. “I just… didn’t think you’d remember.”

Levi gulped down his tea before giving himself a chance to speak and merely stared down into the cup, practically gnawing at the inside flesh of his mouth. “It’s not good to be by a door or window when it’s storming like that,” he finally sighed. “You can come here.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m not going to tell you again.”

Eren immediately got up and moved to sit on the opposite end of the couch from Levi, being careful not to spill his coffee. “Thanks,” he mumbled quietly. His eyes fixed themselves on the TV screen for a long while, but he wasn’t really watching it. Or, if he was, his brain wasn’t processing any of the information. It all seemed like a mess of confusing colors, shapes, and sounds that seemed as if they might be English but didn’t feel like anything but jumble. He could feel Levi’s eyes piercing right through the back of his head and he couldn’t stand it, he couldn’t stand sitting there and saying nothing about the elephant taking up the entire room. Finally, before he could stop himself, his brain shut off completely and his mouth went into autopilot.

“Can we please please talk about what happened before because I’m still fucking confused and sorta hurt and I don’t fucking know how to just sit here and pretend everything’s peachy because it’s not, nothing is okay _still_ and I don’t know what we’re doing right now so can we _please_ just talk about it.”

Eren turned to stare at Levi with pleading eyes, but all he heard in response was a quiet “No.”

He sighed and stared down into his coffee, tapping his fingers against it with a jitter running through his veins. He couldn’t sit there any longer, he just couldn’t. “Where’s the bathroom at?” he asked quietly.

“Down that hallway, third door on the right,” Levi directly grimly.

“Right. Thanks.” Eren set down his mug on the coffee table as he sprang up from his seat and followed Levi’s directions to get to the bathroom, rushing in and shutting the door behind himself immediately. He didn’t actually have to piss, of course, but all it took was one more terrifying boom of thunder and he practically had the piss scared out of him anyways.

After finishing his seemingly mandatory piss and washing his hands underneath water so hot that he could feel his skin cells melting off into the sink, he gripped onto the sink counter and stared at himself in the mirror in front of him. He still looked the exact same that he had when he’d last seen Levi, with the exception of the fact that there were years’ worth of dark circles under his eyes due to several sleepless nights. Of course, this had to be Levi’s new house. Of _course,_ he had to get locked up here until ungodly hours of the night due to a fucking thunderstorm. And of-fucking- _course,_ he just had to feel anxious as fucking hell right now. It felt like too much and he was having a hard time breathing. He didn’t even know how long he had been in the bathroom by now.

“Eren? Are you okay in there? Didn’t fall in my fucking toilet, did you?” Levi asked through the door at last.

“I’m- no, I’m fine,” Eren said, wiping away tears that he wasn’t even aware existed. “I’ll be out in a minute, I’m fine.” All it took was one more house-rattling roll of thunder, one more strike of lightning, and suddenly the power went out, causing Eren to freeze in panic. _Staycalmstaycalmstaycalmstaycalmstaycalm,_ he tried to tell himself, but he couldn’t even follow his own orders to himself. Instead, he sat on the bathroom floor with his knees pulled tightly to his chest and began whispering his internal mantra out loud to himself frantically, trying not to focus on the raging storm outside, trying to focus on himself and only himself. Nothing he was trying to do was working out very well.

“Eren? Are you sure?” Levi asked, still outside the bathroom.

“Please just go away,” Eren whispered weakly, the words just barely leaving his mouth. Levi, apparently, didn’t hear this plea, instead making his way inside the bathroom only to frown greatly at the sight of Eren huddled up on the floor.

“Eren…” he said quietly, but the brunet didn’t acknowledge his existence in the room. “Eren, come on, are you okay?”

“No, no, no, no…” Eren whispered, curling further and further into himself. Levi took it upon himself to comfort Eren now; after months of Eren having to depend on other to console him through losing Levi, he just _knew_ he had to suck it up and help him, ex or not.

“Come on, Eren, breathe, okay?” Levi said, wrapping his arms around the other’s waist from behind. “Breathe with me. In slowly, slowly, good… Now out, slowly… There we go, now again, in… See, you’re doing fine, just keep breathing like that. Just like this, you’re doing fine.” He subtly stroked his fingers over the soft cotton of Eren’s t-shirt and buried his nose in the crook of his neck, breathing softly against his skin just like he used to. This used to be their routine every time there was a storm, for _four and a half years,_ this was their routine. You never really break free from old habits.

“Are you okay now?” Levi asked, but Eren shook his head in refusal.

“Please, please, please stay, don’t make me go away again, _please_ don’t make me go away again,” he whispered, staring straight ahead at the gradient blue shower curtain. “Please don’t make me go, please stay, please, Levi…” Levi nearly said something in response, but immediately cut himself off when he heard Eren whisper, _“I love you so much.”_

In the blink of an eye, Levi swooped Eren up into his arms and held him close to his chest as he led him into his room, setting him down carefully on the oversized mattress and crawling next to him. “I’m here,” he said. “I’m here, Eren, I won’t make you go anywhere.”

“Please, please…”

“I know, Eren, I know,” he said quietly. “I know.”

Eren curled into Levi’s chest and held onto him as he became wrapped up in both the plush duvet and Levi’s arms, no longer paying any heed to the storm outside. There was a storm inside too, yes, but this storm was clearing quickly again and Eren was _finally_ feeling it calm, as Levi continued to whisper sweet things in his ear and kissed his forehead with such gentleness that it was almost a crime in itself.

“I love you, Levi,” Eren repeated at last once his shaking had stopped. “I’m sorry about whatever I did to make you hate me. I don’t know what I did, but I’m sorry. I love you.”

“You didn’t do anything,” Levi said, swallowing a lump in his throat. “I love you too. I do, I love you. Never stopped.”

Eren raised his head and stared Levi in the eye, green melting into gray before both their lips meshed together, their eyes shutting for a little while as they kissed. It wasn’t clear to either of them how long they kissed for, but by the time Eren finally fell asleep in Levi’s arms, the storm was long gone.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](http://spookymileskane.tumblr.com) / [instagram](http://instagr.am/and.a.smile)


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